花嫁

What do you think?
She blushed.
What can I say?
A mere beautiful
Was not enough.
All finery
I’ve seen in my life,
Only to fade
At a glance of your sight.
I go through
Every memory
Of what was taught
Called beauty.
But even then
I cannot use any
To express this.
What should I do?
You waited with innocence
Lighted with curiosity,
How do I let you know?
Your presence,
Overpowers
My uncertainties.
No force used
To erase my anxiety.
And unknowingly,
We connected – hand in hand,
Surprisingly,
You found my answer from the kiss you’ve plant.

*花嫁 in English translation meant ‘Bride’ and in direct translation for each word meant ‘Flower Marrying/Marry’; a suitable title for all the beautiful brides and bride-to-be.*

being woman

Being beautiful is important,

But tell me,

What makes me attractive?

Please don’t just state my appearance,

I need

Some better reassurance.

Being beautiful is worrisome,

When life is

Met with much competition.

How do I have your notice,

When you

Also focus on other women?

When did I become such a pessimist?

Worried, afraid,

My beauty hitting the negative?

All I wanted was to be appreciated,

For the beauty I carry as a human;

Not just by my efforts being woman.

if.

If there is that day I am married
living happily
then maybe
I can forget you then

.
But at this moment
before that happens
you’re in my mind again

.
Darling
you’re a terrible man

.
Leaving me with everything
except yourself that I only need

.
I rather be crying
from all of our quarreling
than just facing
your picture in silence everyday

.
Love
not once am I without praying
if there is that day
once more
we’re together breathing

.

In Your Silence

I didn’t know
Silence could hurt so much,
Until you left me
In the unknown for so long.
Was it just me
Thinking,
We would be closest
All along?
True,
You don’t owe me anything.
And it’s your business
To decide to tell me anything.
But I thought,
We shared something.
All those years,
Was it my mistake?
Even if I asked now,
You would deny.
But nevermore,
Can I trust those eyes.

pain is two ways

I still get hurt
.
Surprised?
Me too
.
After all,
I’ve been a constant
disappointment to you
.
You would think,
and only
it’s just you
.
That all my actions
are deliberate;
to hurt you
As disappointment
.
When really,
those words you say
cuts me just as deep
in every way
.
To not be supported,
by supposedly
the ones I’m closest
.
And to not be understood
but scolded
for my indifference
.
You’ve asked me once,
why I became
this way
.
But you never noticed,
inside I’ve always been
the same
.
So easily hurt,
just like you
.
But unlike you to express,
I’m painfully repressed
.
And I’m always
the only one
to change
.
To adjust
back for your sake
.
To pretend
that I am okay
.
Thus love,
we see it
as one way
.
And pain
I noticed
in two ways
.

Drama

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling,
Prepared myself with a deep breath:
And here it goes again.

‘I just don’t understand!’
Black tears freshen their marks,
Since noon and now in dark.

She looks around
As she gave a wail,
And whispers to follow in her trail.

‘There, there,’
I said in weary;
From repetitive hearings of the same story.

Many a blank paper,
Balled up in her fists,
Tumbles down everywhere for everyone to see.

‘Don’t you understand!?’
She accused me angrily,
Well girl, not in the very least.

How could you let such a pain in the butt
Play you like an idiot?
If I were you, I would have already left it.

But before I could begin my say,
Déjà vu rings from her phone
And a drastic change to her answer, ‘Hello!’.

‘Meet up? Yes, of course!
No baby, I’m not mad –
Yes, I love you too!’ she adds.

She beams with enthusiasm,
Quickly hugs me in goodbye;
Once more in thanks for my time.

I pondered when she will turn back,
And dread again of the same upcoming –
Those excessive, dramatic feelings.